In Memoriam- R.I.P. Justin (Jew Wario) Carmical

Justin (Jew Wario) Carmical: April 11, 1971 - January 23, 2014

I honestly didn't think that I would be making a post like this today. In fact, I never thought that I would be making a post like this ever. Even though I've made it clear with my own self-imposed rule set for the blog (about keeping things fun and the like etc. etc.) I feel that a special exception must be made today in lieu of recent events.

On January 23, 2014 Justin Carmical (at the age of 46) tragically ended his own life. He is survived by his wife Jennifer and their daughter.

It's with a very heavy heart that I bid farewell to a one-of-a-kind internet figure and personality. While I may not have known him on a deeply personal level, I did have the honor of meeting with Justin for the last three years at the cons Magfest and Otakon.

Over the course of three years Justin and I came to know each other on a first name basis. We shared tons of lengthy conversations during our stay at the Magfest arcade and Otakon artist alley. He always greeted me with a bright smile and a hearty (yet firm) hand-shake. When I had made mention to him about the upstarting of my blog last year he showed me genuine enthusiasm and encouragement. His kind words (along with my friend's and family's) served as the fuel that has kept me going on this blog in spite of my own doubts.

For many it goes without saying that few internet reviewers exuded such an unbridled passion for the platform like Justin did. There will only ever truly be one Jew Wario, and knowing that bores a gaping hole into my chest. I feel absolutely terrible in knowing that I never mentioned him even once throughout my recent Magfest write-up.

During our last encounter, we spoke of our passion for the Pokemon franchise. We spent hours discussing the potentials for A.R. (Augmented Reality) videogames and how they could positively affect the gaming landscape for the future. Perhaps the most important thing was that I at least had the chance to tell him how much of a great person that I honestly thought he was. To thank him for the compassion and consideration he never once hesitated to show me.

Thank you again Justin for the time you willing shared with someone like me. I will fondly remember our exchange when you reassuringly told me that my blog was a venture well worth taking. Thank you for joyously showing your fans what was coming down the pipe line, what was out there for us to scan, and that we could (in fact) play this! Most importantly, thank you for all the years of the tireless effort you dedicated to providing your fans with brilliant entertainment every week without fail. Video reviewing will never be the same without you.

Words simply cannot begin to describe how sorely you will be missed by your family and those who were touched by your work. There is not a single doubt in my mind that we will all be reeling from this tremendous loss for quite some time to come. The road ahead of us will be a rough ride, but your memory will endure through your family, your fans, and me. Even though you are no longer with us, your powerful words of encouragement will forever echo in my mind. As I continue on this journey of making this very blog be all it can be I'll never forget:

"Don't be afraid! Keep going forward!"

Edit 04/17/2018 PLEASE READ

With the current advent (at the time of this edit) of #ChangetheChannel and the Not So Awesome Documents, it has come to my attention that Justin Carmical may not have been the kind and giving man I was initially lead to believe.

Several allegations of sexual misconduct/assault and pedophilia/sexual grooming of minors have recently been brought forth about him, thus bringing into question everything I ever thought I once knew about the person that was "Jew Wario."

While I did consider him one of my many inspirations in regards to having the courage to venture into the world of reviewing/blogging etc. he never was someone I could even remotely say was close to me in any significant/deeply personal way. 

Much like it was stated in the memoriam piece above, we knew one another only from continuous run-ins we had at conventions we attended. It is a fact that he knew my name, and I knew his, and we absolutely did spend time together talking about games, anime, etc. for several hours at numerous venues.

But I will lay my integrity on the line, and declare here and now that I never knew, or ever had the slightest inclination/hint about any of this. I am completely dumbfounded and appalled by this uncovering. 

Not even once did Justin hit me as the kind of person who was capable of such horrible acts, but now carrying the knowledge of those potential past deeds, it does bring his suicide somewhat into context in my eyes. Granted, it is purely conjecture on my end, but I wouldn't be surprised if he simply couldn't cope with the guilt of his actions, or the fear that those actions could cost him dearly, ruining his life.

I'm in a very weird place mentally and emotionally as I write the words for this edit. 

I am simultaneously angry, yet deeply saddened that someone I (and many others for that matter) held in such high-regard could perform such loathsome behavior. I mourned this man's passing with the rest of the online community. His suicide seemed like the tragic result of a man who silently suffered from a depression he hid from the world, and much like those who mourned him, I perhaps added to the deifying of Justin in the wake of his death.

I can only imagine how much harder this must have made things for his victims to ever come forward to share their stories. We all know deep down, that's not how it should be. The light of justice must shine on all shadows, even the ones cast by our idols.

   
One part of me feels a strong compulsion to outright delete this post. Why should I continue to have an internet memorial erected in this man's honor? If what everyone is saying is true, and he did perpetrate those rapes, as well as groom underage fans for possible sexual advances... Then he was a despicable monster! His death means that at the very least, he will no longer be able to hurt anyone any more, and the sooner he can be forgotten, the better!

Another part of me though feels that I would only end up being dishonest to myself if I deleted this post. Four years my words have stood here, and regardless of what grievous activity he may have done, it doesn't make the thoughts, and feelings I had at that time of his death any less real.

He really did have a part to play with my continued efforts in everything I'm currently producing and pursuing. I'd be a bold-faced liar if I denied that in any way.

I feel like the only thing I can do at this moment is provide this edit-

To declare that I unequivocally condemn Justin Carmical's actions. I do not in any way, shape, or form condone what he has been accused of. Perpetrators of such crimes should be punished to the fullest extent of the law and kept under strict scrutiny.

But I'm also going to let the record stand. I typed those words, I did indeed know the man to some degree, and he did have a hand in forming my path.

The only things left that I guess I can say on the matter is that you shouldn't ever take any one person for granted. Everyone is, and can be flawed. Some to far greater extents than others. Always keep in mind that appearances can be deceiving, and that sometimes the nicest person can be doing the most horrid and disgusting things when no one else is watching.

If nothing else, I wish the victims of this terrible situation the best in their long and arduous road towards healing. I can't begin to imagine the mental trauma and the emotional pain they must have endured as everyone mourned their assailant. 

I don't know if they'll ever see this post, or read these words, but do please take my writing here as a heartfelt bit of encouragement, that you can be far greater than the pain he caused you, and that you can work past this to a better life someday.

I'm sorry for the length of this edit, and the somewhat confused tone to all of this, but I just don't know what to say or how to feel...  These revelations, and the sense of betrayal they're causing me to experience at this moment is definitely going to keep me reeling for quite some time I'm sure. 

Hopefully in the wake of this, we can all learn to move on.