The Expendables 3- Review

"Boom-lay Boom-lay Boom!"

For anyone who has ever had an at length talk with me about cinema, it is no big secret that I'm a pretty big action-movie buff. Perhaps it's my nostalgia talking somewhat here, but I've always enjoyed the style and flare those late 80's and early 90's films provided. I grew up watching the likes of Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger belt out witty one-liners while shooting off high-caliber weaponry, and dolling up a body-count.

Back when I was just a school-yard kid something like The Expendables franchise was quite frankly a pipe dream. We all wanted to see something like this happen, but we knew deep down that it could never be, or so it seemed. Everything changed in 2010 when for the first time ever we got to see the action legends of Willis, Stallone, and Schwarzenegger share a scene together for about five minutes. Sure it was short, but it showed us all that some things are possible. With the success of that first installment sequels were inevitable, and now here we are four years later with the third get together of the good ol' boys.

To be frank, this trilogy isn't renown for its stellar quality, nor will it ever be because that isn't the point. This is a celebration of an era and style of film that for a while had been lost to us. This is a handful of flicks that are simply there to be pure adrenaline induced, unadulterated fun fanservice. For me, and people like me who always wanted to see some of cinema's biggest action stars get together and blow stuff to hell, this is essentially our wish-fulfillment fanfic. We all know that the writing for the plots are lousy, the lines of dialogue are cheesy, and the action is borderline unbelievable. We want that devil-may-care romp that's more content to put a foot in the groin while chugging a cold brew with explosions in the background. That's the way we like it, and we wouldn't have it any other way!

During this latest outing for The Expendables, our aged mercenaries extract a former member, Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes) from a high security military prison. Upon reenlisting Doctor Death into the group they head out to Somalia so that they can intercept a bomb shipment to the local warlord. Turns out that the weapons dealer who is shipping the bombs is one of the founding members of The Expendables Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) and he's pretty sore about his and Barney Ross' (Sylvester Stallone) last encounter. In order to take down a merc as nasty as Conrad, Barney is going to need to enlist some new blood into the team, and load up on a hell of a lot of bullets. 

If you couldn't tell from that synopsis, this is pretty much your standard action movie fare. In the case of The Expendables though it gets a free pass here as that is the whole point of all this. At the end of day the important thing about this film isn't what it does to innovate or push the genre forward. This is a case where the concern is more on how well they managed to embrace and play the old tropes that helped to define the genre years ago. For the most part I would say that they succeed here, but only in the first and third act. The second act is a bit of a slog where the new (less interesting) team members are assembled. While the new recruits could be considered fairly cool in their own rights, they lack the charisma and charm that the older cast (such as Dolph Lundgren, Jason Stathom, or Antonio Banderas) bring in spades. The only one that stands out to me is Luna (Rhonda Rousey) and that's mostly because I have a thing for kickass warrior women.

Acting wise everyone does their part about as well as you could expect from an 80's action love-letter film. A good portion of the dialogue is replete with cheesy one-liners to punctuate a kill, or a funny reference joke to some of the actor's previous iconic roles. There is a notable sense of levity to almost every scene and you can clearly tell that guys like Banderas and Gibson are having a blast with their parts. I would actually go so far as to say that Antonio Banderas practically steals the show with his incredibly entertaining turn as the character Galgo the sniper. Sadly it isn't all great as some of the bigger stars like Schwarzenegger and Harrison Ford only show up for relatively minor performances. Martial arts superstar Jet Li doesn't even get to throw down in a fist fight in this movie. He shows up just to fire a gun at a few guys. This stuff screams of walk-on cameo, unlike The Expendables 2 where a lot of the actors got to do stuff and interact with one another. While it does take a bit of the fun out of the experience, I would say that it's not enough to be a deal breaker.

That's a lot of people who need to get to the choppa.

In regards to the action, new director Patrick Hughes does a pretty damn good job. The cinematography stays pretty tight with the action, with an extremely limited use of shaky-cam being found throughout all the major beats. There is some obvious CGI from time to time when it comes to some of the helicopter scenes, but for the most part they get the job done. Most of the action beats have solid real life stunt work in them that splendidly show off what every character can do in the heat of combat. Even with the PG-13 rating (something new to the franchise) I don't feel like the action ever really suffers for it. We still get to see plenty goons go down in a hail of gun fire and explosions, so the loss of some of the blood isn't all that bad. Tragically though I do feel that the final fight between Stallone and Gibson could stand to be a bit longer and a bit more brutal. For a lot of us, this is that moment where we finally get to see John Rambo throw down with Mad Max in a fist fight to the death, and it just isn't long enough to be truly gratifying.

Brian Tyler returns to compose The Expendables once more, and once again he lovingly recreates that iconic 80's action-movie vibe. While the argument could be made that by this point in the franchise he is simply rehashing a lot of his score from the previous two films, I personally feel if it isn't broke don't fix it. The main theme of The Expendables is just as catchy as ever, and some of the new guitar pieces match the tempo of the climax quite well. If anything else, I'm kind of let down that there isn't as much licensed music in this one like there is in the previous two. Still, there is a nice karaoke number by the end of the movie that uses Neil Young's "Old Man" that's quite fun. 

Overall The Expendables 3 is much of what you probably already expect out of this series. If you've been wanting to see what all the fuss is about with this mega-action actor crossover, this isn't a bad place to start, but I do think that it may be the weakest one due in part to the somewhat bland second act. My personal favorite still remains with the second installment, but I consider this one to still be an enjoyable escapade while it lasts. Thankfully each part of the trilogy is accessible in its own right and doesn't require the other films in order to work. The actors are clearly having fun with what they're doing onscreen and it's definitely contagious to the audience. While these guys may call themselves The Expendables, old-school 80's cheese-burger-with-a-cold-beer fun like this is most certainly indispensable.             

Positive Factors

• Once again the crew gets together to relive the glory days, and it's just as fun as you remember.
• Tons of quotable witty one-liners and reference jokes for the old-school fans.
• Antonio Banderas pretty much steals the show with his incredibly funny portrayal of Galgo.
• Action is solid with tight camera work, good stunts, and fast fight choreography.
• Brain Tyler's score still captures the fun of 80's action movies. 

Negative Factors

• If you're not on board already, this probably isn't going to win you over.
• Some of the bigger names like Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, and Harrison Ford come off as walk-on cameos.
• The second act drags a bit with less charismatic new characters being brought into the team.
• Final fight between Stallone and Gibson ultimately feels too short and somewhat unsatisfying. 

Final Rating: Splenderiffic! (But just barely)